Have you heard? It’s #GivingTuesday!

As the cost of living continues to rise, we know it’s important to know exactly where your dollars are going. When you make a donation to CommUnity, you have the option to choose the designated program it benefits. 

Our Food and Financial Support programs are especially in need of individual support. Our Food Bank and Financial Support services are primarily driven by individual support. In fact, 91.61% of funding for these programs came from individual contributions in the first quarter of FY23. 

Without individual donations, we would not be able to serve the number of individuals and families who need help with food and other basic necessities. Even with the tremendous community support we are honored to receive, we are not currently meeting the full demand for food and other critical support in our community.

Compared to the same period last year, we have seen a roughly 36% increase in the number of people provided food at the Food Bank, while the pounds of food donated is about half of what it was last year.

Read on to see how your gift is used when you donate to CommUnity Crisis Services.

Greatest Need

Just how it sounds, donations designated “Greatest Need” go wherever need is greatest. These flexible donations allow us to smooth the ups and downs of the giving cycle for each program and provide ongoing support across CommUnity.

Food Bank

Food and financial donations to the Food Bank provide weekly grocery assistance to our neighbors facing food insecurity. Each in-kind or monetary donation feeds local families through the Food Bank, Mobile Pantry, or Grocery Delivery.

Financial Support

Financial Support provides basic necessities to our neighbors facing financial crisis. Donations designated for Financial Support help provide work and education enabling items, prescription medication, rent and utility assistance, and more.

Mobile Crisis Response

Mobile Crisis Response dispatches crisis counselors to any location where a mental health crisis is occurring. Donations to this program ensure enough counselors are available, they are properly trained, and can be on the road when they’re needed.

Crisis Helpline Services

Crisis Helpline Services is contracted to answer 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline chats and texts in the state of Iowa. A donation to Crisis Helpline Services provides lifesaving emotional support to our neighbors experiencing anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, or any kind of emotional crisis. 

No matter how you choose to donate, thank you. CommUnity clients, volunteers, and staff are so grateful for your gift!

We couldn’t serve our neighbors’ needs at the level we currently do without the support of our  amazing community.

Together, we can disrupt the cycle of crisis in our community and uplift our neighbors. The success of our neighbors is the success of our community as a whole, and with your help, we can provide our neighbors with the necessary resources to not only survive but thrive.

By Parth Patel, Youth Mobile Crisis Coordinator

“My kid is doing this for attention” is a response I hear pretty frequently as a youth crisis counselor. I find this statement helpful during my intervention, because I believe that parents truly are the experts on their kids, and want to learn more about what’s behind this response. I can hear the frustration, and underneath this, some helplessness, in a parent’s voice as they describe the history of their child’s mental health challenges including history of suicidal thoughts, previous attempt(s), and self harm behaviors. It’s common for parents to have a hard time understanding what their child has to be stressed or unhappy about, (“When I was their age I had to deal with______ , they have it so easy.” At times, there is an implication that this particular concern is not too serious, which unintentionally dismisses the severity of the child’s suffering. Imagine dealing with something painful that’s causing you to feel trapped, and then being told that you don’t have it so bad. Would this help you feel more hopeful? The result of sending these messages to children is them feeling like a burden on others. If their parents can’t handle these thoughts and believe they are suffering, then what hope is there?

What I’ve found to be more helpful when supporting youth is to err on the side of caution. Children are showing courage by sharing their thoughts of suicide with me. Remember, there is still plenty of stigma and stereotypes related to this issue. I remind parents that yes, teenagers will say some harsh things when they are upset, like “I hate you!” or “You’re the worst!” and these comments are more developmentally appropriate when they’re feeling angry or hurt. Hearing these comments frequently is exhausting. When it comes to direct statements like “I can’t do this anymore, I want to die,” it’s best to stick by the child’s side and involve a trained mental health professional, like a Mobile Crisis counselor. If a parent’s first question is whether their child is doing this for attention, I think it’s helpful to think “And what if this is true?” This internal reaction is totally valid, and a way they are coping through this stressful situation. How parents actually respond to their child is more important, and finding ways to validate their experience can open doors for exploration. We all have a need for love, positive attention and connection, and this is part of the human experience. When was the last time you needed something so much that you’d risk your life? No matter what you think someone’s intention is, the best thing you can do is to listen to them nonjudgmentally, and explore ways they can receive positive attention in their lives.  

Remember, most of the time kids don’t really want to die, they want their emotional pain to end and they may need positive, loving attention from a safe adult during these times. I’ve witnessed time and time again, the power of taking my time when talking to students, and focusing on the interpersonal relationship. That undivided attention can make all the difference when it comes to the decision to stay alive another day. Calling Mobile Crisis counselors to have a rapid, in-person response can be a huge source of support for you and your child.  

You are not alone. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for support. 

To have Mobile Crisis dispatched, call 1-855-581-8111 

Text/Call: 988

Chat Online: 988Lifeline.org/chat

When it comes to preventing suicide, sticking to questions like “Are you OK?” or “Is everything alright?” isn’t usually enough. These questions can certainly help us discover if someone we know is struggling with their mental health (an important first step in supporting them), but they rarely dive deep enough.

And suicide is about as deep as it gets. 

Even those in mental health professions sometimes struggle to bring up suicide. Beyond misconceptions about suicidal ideation (no, asking about suicide does not “put the idea in someone’s head”), one of the most common reasons people avoid the topic is because it can be.… well… awkward. Suicide is an extremely loaded word. Naturally, we want to shy away from a subject filled with so much emotional pain and stigma. But we have to fight this inclination. Lives depend on our ability to push past it. 

Crisis counselors at CommUnity (and all 988 centers) are trained to ask directly about suicide in every single conversation. We do this, at least in part, because it signals to the caller that we are ready to hear what they have to say. It’s common for concerned friends and family of people in crisis to use vague language (“Do you want to hurt yourself?”) because they are worried about upsetting them. It’s an understandable urge, and comes from a place of good intentions. Unfortunately, though, that vagueness can unconsciously communicate that they aren’t prepared (or willing) to have the difficult conversation ahead. Those struggling with suicidal thoughts are frequently looking for a safe person to disclose what’s been on their mind. Asking directly goes a long way to proving that you are that person. 

There is no wrong time to ask someone if they are having thoughts of suicide. Your intuition will likely let you know when someone you know is really struggling. So how do you get this conversation started? You can begin the same way our counselors do, by listening. Explore how the other person is feeling. What’s been going on in their life recently? Listen particularly closely for phrases like, “I just don’t want to be here anymore,” which can indicate that suicide is on their mind. When you feel you have a good grasp of where they are at, it’s time to talk about suicide. Take a deep breath… and ask “Are you thinking about suicide?” in the calmest, gentlest, most caring way you can. 

Once the question is out in the open, be prepared for a bit of silence. They might sigh with relief, glance around the room, or clearly show surprise. No matter how the other person initially reacts, it’s important that you give enough time for them to answer honestly. It’s OK to be terrified of what they are going to say. Try to keep breathing. Focus on how much you care about them. Wait.

If you or someone you love is in need of support, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Text or call 988 to be connected with a counselor 24/7.

To have Mobile Crisis dispatched to your location, call 1-855-581-8111 and ask for mobile crisis.

What is 988?

988 is the new, easy-to-remember number to reach the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which has changed names to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 

When does 988 launch?

988 launched nationwide on Saturday, July 16th. 

Where are 988 calls answered?

988 calls are be answered by local centers based on the caller’s area code. Contacts in Iowa will be directed to one of two local centers, CommUnity Crisis Services in Iowa City or Foundation2 in Cedar Rapids. If volume does not allow for contacts to be answered locally, all contacts will still be answered.

Can you text 988?

Yes. When you text 988, you will be connected to a crisis counselor who will listen to you, provide support, and share resources that may be helpful. Texting is currently only available in English. 

Is this service free?

Yes. The Lifeline is available 24/7/365 and completely free.

Is 988 only for those experiencing thoughts of suicide?

The Lifeline is available 24/7 for calls, chats, and texts from anyone experiencing thoughts of suicide, a mental health crisis, or a substance use crisis.

How is 988 different from 911?

988 provides low-barrier access to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline and related crisis resources, whereas 911 focuses on dispatching EMS, fire, and police as needed. Offering a low-barrier, three-digit number is expected to increase calls to the lifeline and divert calls from other emergency services. Connecting people to the appropriate emergency service in their time of crisis helps the individual get what they need as soon as possible, as well as helping all emergency services operate smoothly.

Will 988 dispatch counselors to me?

80% of 988 contacts can be de-escalated during the initial contact, but if the situation cannot be handled over phone, chat, or text, the counselor can connect the individual in crisis to local resources, such as CommUnity’s Mobile Crisis Response in Johnson and Iowa Counties.

What languages will these services be available in?

The Lifeline currently provides live crisis center calling services in English and Spanish and uses Language Line Solutions to provide translation services in over 250 additional languages. Text and chat are currently available in English only.

How do I contact the Lifeline?

Simply dial 988 to call or text a counselor. Go to 988lifeline.org/chat to be connected via online chat.

By Jacob Story, Mobile Crisis Response Manager

I remember sitting in my kitchen when I first read Texas Governor Greg Abbott’s order to have DHS investigate parents who were seeking gender-affirming care for their trans children. It was, roughly, the fifth snack of the day and my youngest was struggling mightily to get the remaining fruit loops on their spoon all at once to make a complete and glorious final bite. They struggled for another minute and eventually gave up splitting that last bite into a couple of average sized bites. It was innocuous and everyday and mundane, the way most of life is. As they put down their spoon, having declared snack time complete and quickly jumping up to run away, I annoyingly redirected them to clean up their bowl and put the cereal and milk away before whatever thing they were off to next. 

It turns out parenting a queer child isn’t completely different from parenting any other child. Life is mostly your normal day-to-day stuff: snack times, stubbed toes, friend conflicts, and the like. But when the moments come, the ones that aren’t so mundane, they come a little heavier and stay a little longer. It did the day I read about that order from Texas and the rush of fear that came with the feeling of being under siege, and the day they shared that they cut their hair short again because school peers told them boys don’t have long hair even though they’re not a boy, and the day they stopped correcting people using the right pronouns because it wasn’t worth the effort anymore. 

What I’ve learned from parenting a queer child is that a child’s sense of self is way more developed and prominent than a lot of us adults give them credit for. When these topics of identity arise they inevitably turn to questions about how people can so quickly dismiss them without thought, or conversations about when the intention isn’t to hurt but the outcome still hurts a lot. There’s a lot to unpack. A recent survey conducted by the Trevor Project found that nearly half of all LGBTQ+ youth have seriously considered suicide in the past year. The Trevor Project maintains a concise facts page about LGBTQ+ youth that helps explain some key protective factors that I would recommend checking out.

Practically, for our experience, we focused heavily on getting our youngest’s pronouns right, and yes, that came with a lot of mess-ups. My spouse and I developed strategies to gently correct each other and maintain a system of support around our own feelings of “trying to get it right” without placing that additional burden on our kid. It also meant a lot of checking in with our youngest about their comfort and plans in new spaces, making sure they understood that they get to call the shots about how they feel or how they want to be in any given situation. We’re always navigating tricky and sometimes painful family situations which has resulted in some strong boundaries and severed relationships. And yet, I don’t think there’s an easy roadmap for navigating much of this. What I’ve found most important in learning how to better parent a queer child is to listen, listen, listen. When I can focus on what my youngest is sharing with me and hear their feelings I’m better able to manage my own stuff (be it worry or shame or fear). It’s also helped me to recognize what an incredible gift I have in witnessing and learning from their growing self expression and honesty about who they are. 

If you or your child are experiencing a mental health crisis, please don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

To have Mobile Crisis Response counselors dispatched to your location, call the Your Life Iowa line at 1-855-581-8111 and ask for mobile crisis.

To connect with a Crisis Helpline Services counselor, call or text 988 or chat online at 988lifeline.org/chat.

By Sammi deNeui, CommUnity Crisis Services Communications Intern

June 1st marks the beginning of the month-long celebration of Pride!

Since Bill Clinton’s presidency, the month of June has been a month of celebration for the LGBTQ+ community with many parades and events located throughout the entire United States. Pride month honors the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan, which “was a tipping point for the Gay Liberation Movement in the United States” (loc.gov). The first Pride march that happened in New York City occurred on June 28, 1970, and since then, there have been a multitude of marches happening all around the United States. 

Pride Month Events Happening in Iowa City

Iowa City has many events throughout June to celebrate Pride. Listed below are some of the events that are occurring:

• Tuesday, June 14 – Big Gay Bar Crawl 2022
• Friday, June 17 – Iowa City Pride Picnic at City Park
• Saturday, June 18 – Iowa City Pride 2022 (Visit the CommUnity table at the vendor fair to say “hello” to our team)

For more information, click here.

Our crisis counselors are always available to listen and provide support.

Mobile Crisis: call 1-855-581-8111 and ask to speak with mobile crisis

Crisis Phone/Text: 1-855-325-4296

Crisis Chat: IowaCrisisChat.org

Sources:

https://www.loc.gov/lgbt-pride-month/about/

By Amel Ali, CommUnity Crisis Services Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Specialist

May is mental health awareness month, and as CommUnity’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Specialist, I want to touch a little bit on stigmas or barriers that other cultures may face when trying to access resources for mental health, specifically in Iowa City. One big thing that doesn’t get spoken about enough is the impact that the immigration process has on children, whether a family is fleeing from war or simply coming here to improve the lives of their young ones, there is a lot of trauma and, for lack of a better term, confusion on how to integrate your culture from overseas with the new culture here in the United States.

In my experience, dealing with all the things that happen not only psychologically but developmentally as a teenager while also trying to navigate interpersonal relationships and just wanting to be “normal,” I was very sure that my parents would “never get it.” I felt embarrassed to even bring it up, so I avoided telling them what happens in the lives of a middle school or high school student in the United states. This had a tremendous impact on my mental health. I was always anxious and never felt a sense of belonging (which is a common theme among first generation immigrant youth), add the stress of having to “hide” certain aspects of my life from my parents, which eventually led me to develop an eating disorder (we can get to that in another blog post). This was in 2013, and thankfully the resources and help I received was successful and led to a closer relationship between my parents and me.

Mobile crisis is a great mental health resource, especially for bridging a few gaps with communication between parents and the Iowa City Community School District. Mobile Crisis can also help parents handle situations with their children that they may not be equipped to handle because they don’t have experience dealing with similar situations to that of a high-schooler in the U.S.

One big thing that gives me hope is the willingness and openness of people, especially younger generations. I speak to immigrant parents that want to be involved in their children’s lives and want to learn more about how they can better support their children during these difficult and unprecedented times. I am watching families and kids bridge the gap between cultures and generations in real time.

While I think we still have a long way to go, I am witnessing people being more open and willing to have these conversations and that is a big step forward in the right direction.

If you or your child are experiencing a mental health crisis, please don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

To have Mobile Crisis Response counselors dispatched to your location, call the Your Life Iowa line at 1-855-581-8111 and ask for mobile crisis.

To connect with a Crisis Helpline Services counselor, call or text 1-855-325-4296 or chat online at IowaCrisisChat.org.